Plan the conversation together
When it is safe and possible, both adults should agree on a short, age-appropriate message. Avoid sharing adult details or blaming one another. Children do not need to carry the reasons for the relationship ending.
Explain what will happen next
Use concrete information: where the child will sleep, when they will see each parent and what will happen at school or nursery. If something is not yet decided, say so honestly and promise an update.
Repeat the messages that matter
Say clearly that the child did not cause the separation and cannot fix it. Reassure them that both parents remain their parents and that every feeling and question is welcome.
Protect routines and relationships
Predictable handovers, calendars and familiar routines reduce uncertainty. Keep children away from conflict and never use them as messengers between adults.
Safety first. Where there is abuse, coercion or serious conflict, seek specialist legal and psychological support rather than following general co-parenting advice.